A Very Scary Christmas
by CrazyHinata
Summary: What would happen if Itachi was conned into saving Christmas? What happens when he decides to make Hinata his helper? And why is Tenten a reindeer?


**A Very Scary Christmas**

**Disclaimer: Only the dream from which the plot derived is mine. The penguins belong to Roxas-meh-Soxas.**

Itachi ran swiftly through the forest searching for his old village. His skillful eyes scanned the area until he came upon the unsuspecting village. The S Class criminal smirked as he effortlessly hopped over the wall, propelled by chakra. The super ninja ran through the streets with one goal: to complete his mission. The cold December night wind slapped the serious shinobi's face, but he ignored it. Finally his goal had come into view: the Hyuuga compound. The Uchiha's smirked widened as he snuck into the large home.

**-Meanwhile-**

"Boss, do you really think the Akatsuki will help us?" a man in green asked. An older man in a scarlet jacket sat idly in his chair, his nose red from sickness as he nodded. After a violent sneeze he replied, "The Leader of Akatsuki owes me a favor. I once gave him the means to crush someone's hope in life."

"Sir, you don't mean…"

"Yes, a lifetime supply of coal," the older man replied. The other man gasped, and Santa Clause smiled jollily. "I knew the day would come when I would need a favor in return. The Akatsuki Leader promised to send his best shinobi on this mission. I hope it will be productive. Now go. I need peace. The elf rolled his eyes and left his boss while muttering, "I don't get paid enough for this."

**-Back in the Hyuuga household-**

The fifteen year-old Hyuuga Hinata slept peacefully in her bed. Her dreams were filled with the typical sugar plums and candy canes that danced in all good little shinobi's dreams. The teenager smiled peacefully in her dreams, and for a moment Itachi's heart softened. At least, it did until he remembered what was at stake if he did not complete this mission. The Uchiha regained his composure, and pulled a kunai from his cloak. The young man pressed his palm over Hinata's mouth; and when she woke from her slumber, he pressed the cold metal to her throat. Hinata looked at Itachi's bloody eyes in fear, and suppressed her scream. Itachi smirked and leaned down to whisper in her ear.

"If you scream, I will kill you Hinata. I need your assistance for a very important mission. You have no idea what is at stake. Get up and go to your bathroom to change. I have brought the clothes you will need in this bag. Be quick about it. I am not a patient man," he said, his voice like ice. Hinata nodded quickly, and he removed both hand and Kunai from her person. Hinata sat up and took the bag that was handed to her. She padded down the hallway to her bathroom silently and entered quickly. Her heart filled with fear, she opened the bag.

A mixture of shock and amusement filled her as she pulled out the knee-length green, patchwork dress. Hinata simply stared at the typical elf attire for a moment before she changed into the garment. Hinata ran her fingers through her hair and looked in the mirror. She raised her eyebrow as she looked at her attire in mild shock.

"What in the name of…" she wondered, digging farther into the bag. The bag also contained a pair of green shoes that were made to resemble leaves, and a set of plastic elf ears. Hinata, fearing to keep the S Class criminal waiting, grabbed the bag, ears, and her PJ's before leaving the room.

When she walked in the room, Itachi was staring at her impatiently. Hinata noticed the illusion of her sleeping in her bed and began to panic.

'Is he kidnapping me? No one will ever find me! And why am I dressed like this? Is he some sort of sick pervert?! How am I going to escape this?' she thought in distress. Itachi snatched the bag and PJ's out of her hands and tossed them to the ground. Hinata shrank back from him as he approached her. Itachi smirked before scooping her up into his arms and disappearing in a puff of smoke.

Hinata's scream sounded just as they had reappeared in a clearing far away from Konoha. Itachi clamped a hand firmly over her mouth while saying, "Screaming will not help you here. You may return to your village if you cooperate. Understand?" Hinata shook her head weakly, and Itachi let go of her mouth. The man shrugged and motioned for her to follow him through the woods.

After a lot of walking, they came to yet another clearing. Hinata's heart almost stopped once she saw was resting peacefully in the clearing. There, illuminated by the moonlight, was a large red sleigh complete with nine reindeer and a large sack of presents.

"Santa…" Hinata said breathlessly. Itachi nodded curtly and walked over to the sleigh, pulling out a large red coat. He removed his usual cloak to reveal a white shirt, and red pants that were held up by a thick belt. Itachi waved put the coat on, and picked up the traditional red hat of Santa Clause. Hinata looked at the deadly ninja, and at once all fear left her. Itachi walked over to the girl and scowled.

"Something is trying to destroy Christmas. My boss owes Santa Clause big time, and he conned me into this. Now, we have to deliver presents to lure out the threat," he explained, clearly angered by the situation. Hinata, unable to contain herself any longer, promptly fell on the ground in peals of laughter. Perhaps it was his clothing or the manner in which Itachi spoke, but all at once she felt like he could not harm her.

When she had finally ceased her laughing, she asked, "Why am I here? I owe your leader nothing."

Itachi grinned and in a deadly voice replied, "I need an assistant as a guise, and you are the only girl in that village who did not stalk me or my foolish little brother. I needed someone who would neither annoy me nor try to escape. Now, put on those ears." Hinata was chilled by his words, but soon defiance filled her. "No," she said sternly. Itachi blinked at her words, but an evil smirk soon consumed his features.

He stepped closer to her and repeated himself in a more threatening manner, "Do it, or I will." Hinata simply walked around him and shook her head. Now Itachi was starting to get angry. He had not expected her to be so defiant. Perhaps he should have taken one of the other girls. Itachi struggled with that idea, but realized that he had no time for it. The thoughts of what he had to lose filled his mind, and an inner strength unlike his chakra took over.

"DO IT!" he yelled. Courage left Hinata, and she immediately put the elf ears over her own. Itachi smirked once more, and the two boarded the sleigh. And then they were off. Suddenly a red light covered the world beneath them, and Hinata instinctively grabbed onto Itachi for safety. "What's that?" she asked. Itachi shrugged while holding onto the steering wheel. He replied, "We just have to deliver presents and track down the person trying to ruin Christmas. I'm not concerned about a little light show." **(A/N: Don't ask about the car parts inside the sleigh. Even I do not know. And yes, the reindeer are still pulling the sleigh.)**

Hinata let go of Itachi uneasily and simply tossed presents into the chimneys that they passed. "Itachi, what if there is a fire burning on the other end of the chimney?" Hinata asked suddenly. The young man shrugged, not noticing that the girl had addressed him so disrespectfully, and replied, "Not my problem, besides we are doing Santa a favor if there is. If any one's trying to burn that old geezer, they deserve no presents from him. Killing is my job."

Hinata smiled slightly at the dark humor and silently prayed that Itachi would not kill her for merely breathing. After a while, the novelty of the situation wore off, and Hinata was starting to get cranky. She was mad that she had been woken up, threatened, and forced to wear strange clothes. She was mad that someone was trying to destroy Christmas and that she had to submit to the will of a crazed criminal. But what was driving her to the brink of insanity was the fact that the feared Uchiha Itachi, destroyer of the Uchiha clan was driving like a constipated eighty year-old woman.

"Can't you drive any faster?" she asked in frustration. Itachi glanced at the girl in mild amusement and shook his head. He landed the sleigh in the middle of Konoha and said, "I have to make sure the sack is secured. In any case, the village looks completely different from the sky, and I thought it was time to check it out in person. We dropped a bag of candy into this house earlier. I've noticed that a dark figure has been sneaking into the houses and stealing the presents. It hasn't come here yet. Let's go."

Hinata looked around and noticed the darkness surrounding the village. Truthfully, she had seen it before but had been too frustrated to acknowledge it. Itachi and Hinata walked to the door of the small house and opened it cautiously.

"We're supposed to use the chimney," Hinata whispered. Itachi shook his head and replied, "And be consumed by flames meant for chestnuts? I don't think so."

Hinata rolled her eyes and followed Itachi into the house. They entered the living room and followed the sound of contented giggles. Hinata gasped when her eyes landed on the source of said giggles. In the middle of the living room stood a reindeer with Tenten's head eating candy.

"Santa!" The strange Tenten said happily to Itachi. Hinata raised her eyebrows, and Itachi elbowed her in the side as a sign to agree with everything he said.

"That strange light must have changed her. We were safely in the sky when it covered the land," Hinata whispered. Itachi nodded and spoke to Tenten, "Uh, Hohoho…Merry Christmas. Look, we don't have much time. Have you seen anyone strange lately? Someone has been stealing presents."

Tenten laughed as best a reindeer could and shook her head. "No one stole my candy!" she said happily. No sooner had she said it than a cloaked figure ran through the room, taking her candy with him. Tenten cried in despair, and Hinata rolled her eyes at the whole situation. This could not be happening to her. She had almost convinced herself it was all a dream when Itachi threw her over his shoulder and ran to the sleigh with her.

"We have to catch up to him. Or else I will not get what was taken from me!" Itachi said, his cold demeanor dissolving. Finally, Hinata had had enough. She stomped to the side of the sleigh Itachi was sitting in and pushed him roughly into the passenger's seat. "What are you doing?" Itachi asked a scowl on his face. Hinata sat down and glared at the ninja beside her. A strange sort of fear overcame Itachi as Hinata wordlessly started the flying process. By the time they were in the air, Hinata was pushing 100 miles per hour, and Itachi was holding onto the side of the sleigh for dear life.

Itachi watched, horrified, as the large sack of presents flew out of the sleigh. Hinata, beginning to feel the effects of sleep deprivation, began to cackle madly. Itachi watched mutely as they chased the figure, which was flying in a black sleigh with an elf of his own, all the way to the North Pole. Suddenly, the Reindeer stalled and landed roughly on the ground, too tired to fly any longer. Hinata watched as the anti-Santa kept flying towards Santa's workshop.

Hinata and Itachi exited the sleigh and began to walk towards the workshop. "Great," Itachi said, regaining his voice. "Shut up! You wake me up, kidnap me, force me to help you, and now criticize **my **driving? Are you just plain stupid?" Hinata screamed, anger taking over.

"This is your fault," Itachi muttered. Hinata seething in anger challenged back, "I'm tired, cold, and hungry. Don't test me right now, Grandpa!" Itachi glared at Hinata and would have replied had he not herd waddling. Both ninja turned to see a group of adorable penguins marching towards them. Anger was forgotten as Hinata cooed, "How cute." Itachi narrowed his eyes at the penguin army, and stepped closer to the girl. "I don't trust them," he said.

"Don't be silly. What could they possibly do?" she pushed his caution aside. Soon they were surrounded by penguin. One penguin stepped forward and smiled cutely at Hinata. She stepped forward to pet it, but Itachi held her back. Hinata was about to say something when the penguin pulled a kunai from nowhere and…grinned? Both ninja gulped as the other penguins did the same.

"Prepare to die," the head penguin said in a singsong voice. They eyes of both ninja widened, and the battle began. After much slashing, Itachi and Hinata were cornered in front of the sleigh each sporting some nasty cuts. Death seemed unavoidable to both ninja, and suddenly a thought struck Hinata.

"Itachi, how did your leader convince you to do this anyway?" she asked him.

After slight hesitation, he replied, "He stole my pie and said he wouldn't return it unless I agreed to this." Hinata nodded before his words hit her. All at once her eyes widened. "What?" she asked icily. "He stole my pie and…" Hinata cut Itachi off with a scream of frustration. "PIE? THIS IS ABOUT PIE?!"

And that's when insanity overcame her. Hinata charged the penguins unmercifully. She threw chakra into their tiny bodies until all of the demonic birds had died. Itachi slowly walked to the girl and tapped her shoulder. Hinata fixed her byakugan on his sharingan in a heated glare. He gulped and stepped back from the girl in actual fear.

"Itachi."

"Yes?" he asked slowly.

"Do you have enough chakra to teleport us to the workshop?" she asked angrily. Itachi mutely nodded and grabbed Hinata's hand.

**-At Santa's-**

"And then you will deliver all presents to me and my…teacher," The cloaked figure was saying. Santa nodded in mute anger while trying to formulate a plan. The old man sneezed, causing the figure to recoil in disgust.

"Stop right there!" came Hinata's angry voice from the door way. The cloaked figure spun around, causing his cloak to fall to the ground. Silence consumed the room, and Itachi was the one to break it.

"Sasuke?" Itachi asked in mild disgust. The presence of his brother had put him in a significantly better mood, and he put a hand out to stop Hinata from advancing on the poor unsuspecting boy.

"Yes brother, Orochimaru and I have ruined Christmas and taken every last present," Sasuke said delightedly. Itachi smiled at his brother before he began to advance on him. Sasuke, his useless brother was the only thing standing between him and his precious pie. However, once Sasuke stepped aside to reveal Orochimaru, Itachi stopped. The deadly shinobi looked at the ninja dressed much the same as Hinata, and tried to hold back his laughter.

But eventually, his façade faded. Itachi laughed so hard that tears rolled down his cheeks. Bothe Orochimaru and Sasuke sweat-dropped at this display, and neither of them had time to avoid the flash of a camera. Orochimaru gasped when he saw the instant picture in Santa's hand.

The older man began to laugh as well, but he finally managed to say, "Woo boy, this is a great picture. Itachi, would you and Hinata like a copy?" Itachi laughed harder, causing Orochimaru to panic.

"Please don't show that to anyone! I'll do anything!" he shouted. Sasuke made to interrupt, but Orochimaru kicked him before he could protest.

"Alright, I won't. But you have to release the jutsu your student placed over the world and return the presents. And no one except those in this room can remember this night," Santa said.

"Done," Orochimaru agreed hastily. Santa laughed and motioned for his employees to get the enemy out of his sight. Itachi ceased his laughing and stood to face Santa.

"You should be getting her home," Santa said to Itachi. The younger man turned to see Hinata had passed out on the floor from exhaustion. For once a genuine smile passed his lips.

"Will you do me a favor, Santa?" Itachi asked while looking at the girl.

**-Christmas Day at the Hyuuga's-**

"Hinata! Wake up; Santa came!" Hanabi shouted happily while running down the halls. Hinata woke up and slowly stepped out of bed. She was so tired. The girl looked around her bedroom before she walked to her closed door. She was about to open it when she noticed her PJ's on the floor. Hinata did a quick check to find herself dressed in strange clothes. Realization hit her, and she changed her clothes in a panic, hiding the costume under her bed. Hinata made sure everything was well hidden before she walked to the living room.

Her entire family sat around the tree opening presents. Hinata smiled and took her usual seat by the window. She opened her presents and thanked her family politely. Hanabi bounced around in excitement while opening the presents that "Santa" had gotten her. That's when Hinata saw it. A red envelope was wedged between two branches on the Christmas tree. Hinata looked around, and when no one was looking, she pulled it from the tree. On the front her name was written in tiny black scrawl.

Hinata opened the envelope and blushed upon looking at the picture inside. It was a picture of her asleep and Itachi kissing her underneath the mistletoe. On the back of the picture was written: Merry Christmas Hinata.

**-Akatsuki HQ-**

Itachi sat at his desk in his bedroom, a large pie before him. "Was it worth it?" The leader asked while walking out. Itachi put another spoonful of pie in his mouth and nodded. Leader left and Itachi pulled two pictures from his desk drawer. One showed a very startled Orochimaru dressed as an elf. Itachi laughed lightly and glanced at the other picture. It depicted a far sweeter scene. Itachi looked at the picture of himself kissing Hinata and smiled while whispering, "Worth every moment." The shinobi smiled at his picture and shoveled more pie into his mouth. Oh how he adored pie.

**End**


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